Many people think that in order to be happy, you must be successful in finding “The One.”
That’s the reason why most individuals spend a lot of time meeting new people and going out on dates, with hopes of meeting their soul mate. It doesn’t make any difference how many people you meet, the number of parties you’ve attended, or the number of dating sites you’ve joined. There are possible reasons why you haven’t attained your goal yet.
Reason #1: You’re not yet ready for “The One.”
Whenever I’m working with a client whose dream is to find true love, my first question is, “Would you be ready to commit if the man of your dreams is already waiting outside this door?”
Oftentimes, this type of question catches women off guard, so let me tell you something…
If you’re not ready to spend your life with someone, either internally or externally, you’ll have a hard time welcoming him/her in your life. Shame on you for saying that you want Mr. Right to appear already. It doesn’t matter how many times you say you want them.
If you feel otherwise, you’d just give each other a hard time.
Reason #2: You don’t have any patterns at all.
Perhaps, you’re trying your best to date different kinds of people, but if you don’t know what you really want, your standards, and criteria, you might end up dating the same person, but in a different package.
I’m very much aware that it’s hard to break old habits or put things straight, but Mr. Right might be holding a bouquet of roses, waiting on the other side of your comfort zone. You need to explore, break the old habits, and be ready to form a healthy, loving relationship.
Reason #3: Dating out of fear.
There are two kinds of relationships: love-based and fear-based. As you enter a relationship, it could be either of the two.
Love-based is a form of relationship where both of you are emotionally mature and ready to spend the rest of your life together. You could also live alone, but you’d rather share your life with that special person.
On the other hand, a fear-based relationship is being with someone for all the wrong reasons– selfish reasons. You don’t want to be alone, you’re thinking that you’re already old and you need to find someone soon, or you feel guilty to leave the person you’re currently with, even when you don’t love him at all.
Reason #4: Not being yourself.
The right person will love you unconditionally, no matter how eccentric or flawed you are. Thus, you should be yourself and accept who you really are. At the same time, you should also strive to be the best person you can be. Express your opinions and don’t hide behind a facade.
Keep in mind that if he loves you, he’ll also love your quirks and peeves without judging you. Even though this wouldn’t make everyone like you, the right person will still be attracted to you.
Reason #5: You’re confused about yourself
If you want to set things straight, know what kind of partner you’re really looking for. Come up with a top 3-5 must-haves, as well as deal-breakers. Stick to them no matter what.
For must-haves, as much as possible, it should be character traits, such as: a man who’s a hard worker, or a man who’s very devoted.
On the other hand, your deal-breakers could be based on the bad events with your exes that you don’t want to experience again. For example, you’ll never date someone who’s rude, self-centered, or arrogant. So, if your date is an hour late, very vain about himself, or a brat, that’s your cue to exit, but do it with grace.
These reasons should have an impact in your search for ‘The One.’ It’s not an easy process, but in the long run, it’ll give you a happy ending.